What is wrong with ESPN? (cont.)

Recently I have become more and more disgruntled with ESPN as I’ve noticed the quality of its shows disintegrate. I used to love Stuart Scott. The dynamic duo of him and Dan Patrick was the face of Sportscenter in the late 90’s. But in the past couple years, something has changed about him. It starts with that ridiculous earring he added to his left ear. What is that? He is reporting sports, not playing them. Secondly, who is dressing that man? Some of these suits… wow. Purple pinstripes? My God. He just isn’t the same guy.

My boiling point recently occurred during my nightly Sportscenter viewing at 11. My eyes perked when I saw the Sportscenter ticker read “ESPN NOW.” The series is a daily breakdown of two of sports’ biggest stars going head to head in an on the field and off the field battle of both relativity and popularity. We are currently in the second round of the 32-athlete field, and the three team panelist team has shifted from the incumbent Keyshawn Johnson, Kirk Herbstreit, and Michael Wilbon, to the stars of the upcoming movie comedy Chuck and Larry; Kevin James, hottie Jessica Biel, and Mike Greenberg. As I tuned in (only to watch Biel), I couldn’t help but fume over James’ ridiculous drawn about comments about how he beat Tiger Woods in a hole of golf. James – who at 5’9,” 285 plus hardly qualifies as an athlete, then proceeded to choose Ladanian Tomlinson over Steve Nash in the next match-up because he is a former running back himself. James made the outlandish comment that he used to run a 4.6 40 in high school. Trust me, the only 40 he’s ever run is the liquid kind. In an epic first round match-up between Tony Parker and Roger Federer, Wilbon took TP not because he was the final’s MVP, but because he finds Eva Longoria to be sexually stimulating. I am not watching Sportscenter to learn who Mike Wilbon thinks is hot.
It must be noted for anyone who has yet to see this segment, that “Who’s Now” occurs during Sportscenter, in between Indians-Mariner highlights, and a Tom Rinaldi tear jerker.

The segment is not only absurd, but it’s completely irrelevant. Does anybody care? I am actually shocked that people are even voting on each match-up. In fact, perhaps I should conduct a further study and track where the votes are coming from. I bet the same Chinese population who surge Yao Ming as overwhelming vote winner in the All-Star game the night before balloting ends are the same group who vote on the outcome of who is more now, Danica Patrick vs. Derek Jeter. Scott reports the information with such anticipation in his voice that you’d think another war was starting. “Dude is just sick, and he’s dating Gisele.” Or “the kid is a flat out freak!”

For years I have long loved the efforts of Sportscenter to bring fans the most up to date information and interesting stories. But with recent shows such as Dream Job (the contest where one aspiring sports anchor wins a job on ESPN), Baseball Tonight, and the useless segment Who’s Now, I have reached my television boiling point capacity. From here on out, I refuse to subject my eyes and ears to Kevin James’ fat face talk about how he beat the greatest golfer in the world at his own game, or why Mike Greenberg thinks Dwayne Wade got shafted in his Who’s Now tournament seeding. Most importantly, I will no longer watch Stuart Scott and his assortment of revolting suits and fake Claire’s earring host anymore… ever.